Writing Your Blog Bio

590A0455 682x1024 Writing Your Blog Bio

Welcome back to the world my lovely blog readers!  I’m hoping you enjoyed your Thanksgiving holiday and the weekly series of Black Friday and Cyber-Monday, followed by my personal favorite: Credit Card Debt Tuesday.  I, for one, am exhausted. While I’m in the midst of processing the large number of Thanksgiving photos I took, I thought I would do something a little different on the blog today and share a piece I wrote a few months ago when I was in the midst of editing my blog bio–a task which my blogger friends can surely relate.  Enjoy!

I’ve shuffled off all of the work I’m supposed to be getting done today (ie that which I get paid for) so that I can edit my blog bio.  I’ve been meaning to edit my blog bio for about 2 years now or whenever the last time was that I forced myself into a corner with the threat of no food, water, nourishment, or sunshine until there was an updated bio published.

Here’s a timeline for writing your blog bio, which usually takes anywhere from 1 day to 5 years.

  • Browse all of the bios on your favorite bloggers and realize that everyone is wittier, more stylish, and more accomplished than you.  You don’t even deserve to have a bio, you’ve never been published in __________ or ________, like _______, ____________, and _____________.  Give up.
  • Make lunch, twice.  Look online to see if you can book a session with a psychic to tell you whether you’ll ever be successful enough so that you will feel worthy of writing a blog bio.  Finish the chocolate bar in the freezer instead and give up.
  • Light a candle, next to your workspace.  Put on some inspirational music.  Clear your mind with some deep breaths.  Call your friend to tell her that you really need to update your bio and complain how much you dislike the current one.  She agrees and tells you that you need help from a “writer” and then asks if you know any.  Give up.
  • Take a bath, with epsom salts.  After your 2 big lunches and chocolate bar, your heading off into carb coma county.  Hope that the epsom salts will detoxify you while you examine your back molars to determine if you are getting a cavity.  You are.  Decide to give up.
  • Search online to see if you can find a “writer” to write your bio.  Conclude that everyone is too expensive and even if you wanted to pay for it, they wouldn’t have anything to write about anyway.  Give up.
  • Realize that you only have a few hours left to edit your bio and begin to shop online.  Buy a bunch of crap you don’t need and then feel remorse because you’re sinking into credit card debt that you will most likely never. be. able. to. pay. off.  Give up, again.
  • Get a glass of water.  No, sparkling water.  No, sparkling water with lime.  And lemon.  Your throat starts hurting so you need some tea.  Now a bathroom break.  Decide there’s no time to write a bio!  Give up.
  • Check your site stats. 500 times in 3 minute increments.  Give up.
  • You can’t concentrate on writing a bio when all the laundry needs folding!  Give up.
  • Open the page to the bio.  Decide you hate your current bio content because it sounds too _______, _______, ______, and just plain dumb.  Try again to find a “writer.”  Give up.
  • Open the page to the bio again.  Save your previous bio in case your computer freezes (you have a Mac so that never happens) or, even worse, if your edits are worse than your current bio and you have to revert to the original.
  • Type,type, clickity-clack, clickity-clack.  Who came up with the idea of a blog bio anyway?  Keep working.  Call your husband to run your new bio by him, but decide you don’t really want his comments after all.
  • Your time is up, Publish and be done, you can always edit it later.

And you will.

xx

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December 2, 2013 - 9:44 pm

sarah burns - LOL. This is very timely as I think I’m due for an updated blog bio myself. Maybe we should write each others! We’d have glowing things to say…

December 2, 2013 - 9:48 pm

WordPress.com Support - I’m game! maybe the experience wouldn’t be quite as torturious…are you finished with your Paris series or is there more to come? xx

December 3, 2013 - 1:32 pm

GossipMoms (@GossipMoms) - your right now that you mentioned it. i would have to get up on that sometime this week, great reminder & great post

December 3, 2013 - 4:11 pm

Carrie Lorentz - haha funny…this is so me..still haven’t done it…well I did copy someone else’s awhile back but have since deleted it.

I also have the same procrastination with getting someone on fiverr to do a banner, cannot get a clear idea of how I ant it to look!

December 3, 2013 - 4:17 pm

Rachel Everett - The main thing is that, at the end, you never gave up. That is the most valuable lesson to all the bloggers out there.

December 3, 2013 - 4:18 pm

Jessica - yes, it’s all about hunkering down…try scheduling it into your day and see if you get better results! good luck! :)

December 3, 2013 - 5:18 pm

The Pinterested Parent - I keep beginning the edit on my bio & then deleting my changes because I hate those too. I think the hardest part for me was my bio. I am not a writer. I am not eloquent or clever. I am just a mommy that has a lot to say & likes to share her ideas & thoughts.

December 3, 2013 - 5:25 pm

Jessica - I hear you! :)

December 3, 2013 - 6:33 pm

kungphoo - I like the saying debt Tuesday, very clever..

December 3, 2013 - 6:37 pm

Savannah-Lin Rosa - Good thing I use cash!.. haha!.. I am still thinking of blogging.. I have so much stuff in my brain!.. When I was in high school I thought of writing a book about my life.. I felt that many can relate to my past and the outcome.. Just need to build up the encouragement!..

December 3, 2013 - 6:45 pm

Kelly - All this sounds about right! Thanks for the chuckle..

December 3, 2013 - 7:27 pm

Deborah - Too funny! I have a company blog. So, I don’t have a personal bio on it. It’s difficult enough coming up with regular content.

December 3, 2013 - 8:35 pm

Tarana - I think I’ve edited my blog’s bio about 20 times! Enough said.

December 3, 2013 - 9:00 pm

jo Casey - This really made me laugh as I could recognize so much of it myself! I see my blog bio as a constantly evolving work in progress

December 3, 2013 - 11:55 pm

Marjory Johnson - I think you nailed us all here with some fun humor!

December 3, 2013 - 11:55 pm

Casey Gardner - I though for a minute my wife wrote this about me!

December 4, 2013 - 5:14 am

Tom Holmberg - LOL I love the humor you infused into this, great tips

December 4, 2013 - 6:19 am

Daniele Holmberg - This was so very cute. It made me smile:) Thanks!

December 4, 2013 - 2:29 pm

Vicki Bezio - Lol! I write bios for a living and I haven’t written mine yet. I can relate.

December 4, 2013 - 5:02 pm

bradley finnearty - I love this. I read the first one and thought you were serious but then the second one hit me and made me laugh. Great stuff.

December 4, 2013 - 6:05 pm

Chrystina - Yeah, this sounds about right for things like that. I think I change my bio once every few weeks because I just can’t get it right.

December 4, 2013 - 6:29 pm

marielle altenor - I had such a good time reading this post. Made me laugh and sounded a lot like me, only it’s not just about updating my blog bio, but actually WRITING a post for my blog. Something ALWAYS comes up! LOL was totally able to related.

December 4, 2013 - 7:10 pm

WordPress.com Support - Even you? It must end one day…:)

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